This loyal girl was always with Mac, eagerly following him to be a part of the next big adventure or game… or perhaps to be the first on-scene & gobble up all the snacks that were sure to hit the floor.

Paul got Gemma when she was a puppy – believe it or not, she was the runt of the litter!

The breeder was local to us and had a history of breeding German Shepherds for use as police dogs. Which means there was MINIMAL human contact for the puppies so they would be able to make the best possible bond with their specific handler. Totally makes sense! But I was not ready for this little puppy to instinctively reject my offered cuddles and attempted pets.

It took her a while to warm up to the consistent “touches” as a pup, but she would grow to be the most affectionate and playful dog I’ve ever had; and Mac’s BEST FRIEND.

Gemma was only 6 in human years when we had to put her to rest this past Sunday. She had recently hurt her back somehow but xrays at the vet’s office didn’t show any issues (we would find out from the emergency vet later that xrays would not have shown the possible damage done to her back anyhow). Gem was much less active in the week after she hurt her back, barely getting up for water breaks and only eating food when I’d cater a hotdog – or two – to her on the ground. We thought it would just take some time for her body to heal on its own.

Paul has told me before that German Shepherds tend to have hip issues as they get older; something about how they had previously been bred to have the look of the “low butt/hind legs”. Perhaps she was predisposed to back/hip injuries. We took her to family dinner at “the pond” since she hadn’t seen her fellow doggy friends for a while… but it ended up being a short visit.

When Gem jumped out of the truck cab onto the driveway, the pressure of the impact must have been enough to do even more damage – she cried and dropped down her butt, unable to control her hind legs and stand up.

This position (if you’ve ever seen an animal in it, you know) is never good. Whatever happened to her back when she jumped down from the truck was enough to render her hind legs unusable/paralyzed.

I knew there were a few saints known for their kindness or work with animals and figured now was a good time for Mac to say a quick goodbye, I snuck in a prayer to the saint, then Paul & I got her to the emergency vet out at the airport so we could get a “2nd opinion”. The vet, Dr. Paula, was very straightforward and empathetic to everything we had going on.

Because of the paralysis Gemma had now, she estimated we could spend about 8-10k dollars to possibly fix the issue with surgery.. or we could put her down and take the pain away.

We had a really nice last visit with Gemma in the patient’s room, allowing her to relax and be comforted before the vet came back in to put her to sleep. The room was SUPER quiet and I could hear all the things going on outside the door, but Ellie’s Magnolia album helped to drown-out the extra noise.

She went much faster than I remember with past doggos, but there’s also a sense of relief that comes from the passing. We brought her body home and buried her in the back of the yard by the young oak tree Paul planted a couple summers ago.

Up until this moment, we haven’t needed to explain to our kiddos “why” they wouldn’t be seeing a family member anymore because of their death. I gave it a little thought while Mac was at daycare Monday and I knew I needed to keep it simple and straightforward for my 2.5 yr old. I prayed I would be able to have the right words for Mac to best understand why he wouldn’t get to play with his best friend anymore. We picked both Cam and Mac up that afternoon and as we pulled into the garage to park, I felt Mac needed to know where Gem was. So, our conversation went something like this:

“Hey, Mac. Do you remember when mommy & daddy had to take Gemma to the doctor yesterday? … Because she wasn’t feeling very good?”

(Mac slowly nods head)

“Well, the doctor wasn’t able to help her; he couldn’t fix her. That’s why she isn’t home – she was too sick to stay with us so she went up to heaven to be with God.”

(no facial expression or movement noticed)

“You know God. God and Jesus, that’s who we pray to and talk to every night. The doctor couldn’t help Gemma so God took her up to heaven to care for her there and help make her better. So we won’t get to see Gemma anymore, Baby. But if you want to talk to her, there’s a place in our yard out by the burn barrel that you can go to talk to her. Do you want to see it??”

(Mac nods quickly and says yeah. The four of us get out of the van and make our way towards the back of the yard. Mac runs to the rocks he used to throw for Gemma and picks a few up)

“Oh, are you gonna take some rocks to Gemma? She would like that!”

There’s a video of what goes on next so I won’t spoil it here.

Those are rocks on Gemma’s grave. Simple, generic rocks that came from the back yard, lining the paver walkway to the deck. I made the stick cross as a temporary marker but I did not put the rocks there… this is the sweetest thing and I am forever grateful that I recorded the moment Mac got to see Gems grave <3 video below will MELT your heart.

Gemma was the best dog I’ve ever had. She was smart and cuddly and playful, and LOVED being a part of Mac’s shenanigans. Although her time with our family was cut shorter than we all would’ve liked, that time was jam packed with fun and love.